She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
