I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Randomize
