remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
