I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
