I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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