So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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