4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
