Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
