why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
