if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
