we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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