Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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