You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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