ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
