so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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