; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
