I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
