Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
