I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Randomize