Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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