Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
