So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
