It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
