he thought i was a dude.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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