So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think your dad took our porno
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
