P.S. I can't hear my feet
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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