I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Randomize
