Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
