it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
