I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I believe in your delicious
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
