theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
