we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
