just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
