Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
