Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
