I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
