How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
