i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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