we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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