i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
