I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
