Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
soo... how was my night?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
