The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
