my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
