I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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