I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
