they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
