I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
