May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
