When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
