Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
