I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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