Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
