Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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