I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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