I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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