....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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