The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Why is your signature on my underwear?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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