he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
