What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
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