so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
