she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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