I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
