no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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