Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
