i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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