Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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