do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
