Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize