My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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