I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize