I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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