she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
