She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
either way he was missing a nipple.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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