So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
