**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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