i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize