Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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