Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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