You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You just made me feel so damn special
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
