I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize