the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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