I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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