is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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