I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
