I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
wow bdsm is so cute
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I know her cup size but not her name....
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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