Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Mom said you looked used
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
