You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize